Oh, happy day!

I don't really have much to say...except that today is a good day! A little slow at work, and the air conditioning is not working...but today is a good day. I am loved by many people. Although money is tight this month, I have enough for food and shelter. I am relatively healthy. I spend 1/3 of my time at a job I do not find fulfilling, but I HAVE a job...and one that pays well enough. I am far from my family, but have a partner who is becoming my family and that will always support and love me. I am far from friends, but can call or write them anytime I need. I am disenchanted by the nature in which the Church and organizations that share my ideals are run, but that disenchantment has not quelled my motivation to remain active in the things I care about. I am happy! Happy to have my basic needs met. Happy to have a job. Happy to have people who love me. Happy to have passion that give me meaning. Happy to be able to go for long walks. Happy to see the beautiful things around me. Happy to hear my nephew's small voice. Happy to have someone to love. Happy to be alive and living. Oh, happy day.

I got myself some cable

So I came in late to work today because...wait for it...I got cable this morning. I moved into my new apartment June 1st, sans TV. Wait, let me back up...I technically moved to this new city April 19, 2008, sans apartment. I spent the first 10 days living with my significant other (a good time, but a less than desirable arrangement). I found a temporary place to stay for the month of May. A kind woman named Brenda, her 3 lovely children, 2 dogs and a cat opened their home to this nomad. She had two rooms in her large suburban house. One was essentially a studio apartment; the other, a tiny, clearly "spare" room. I couldn't afford the studio, so opted for the spare. Generous Brenda, not much older than myself and who could not help both mothering me and reaching out to me in friendship (often in what seemed like a desperate attempt to quell her own loneliness despite this full house), offered me the studio until she could rent it out. I graciously accepted. Two weeks in my own studio, I packed up once again and moved to the spare room.

I lived out of a suitcase for my first five weeks in Houston and took up residence in three different places before settling into my new apartment June 1. I honestly thought I could realistically postpone getting a TV, let alone cable...but alas, a woman must find some way to lure the men-folk into her den. First, I bought a used TV from Craigslist...a great buy! But it soon became apparent, post opening ceremony for the Beijing Olympics, that if I ever wanted to see my better half during the next 17 days I would need cable. And so, there you have it. The last time I went without this doorway to TV Land was in the year 2000. I was doing so well for over 6 months, in fact I enjoyed my life, sans TV. And then 9/11 happened and I felt I needed to once again plug in.

It took a national tragedy to make me turn on the tube then....this time it took only a man. I jest, only a little....I have, after all, missed my Food Network, HGTV and Bravo. Happy Frying-your-brain!

My first blog...evah!

I am at work right now, in a job with less responsibility than the one I had just out of undergrad 10 years ago; but, it pays over 1.5 times more money. Since that first "real" job out of school, I have gained 10 more years of experience and a Masters degree. Am I a failure? Professionally...the jury is still out. Personally...well, by virtue of the fact that I am always working on it...then no, I am not a failure. Spiritually...I have been told by many who know me well that I am spiritually and religiously intuitive and knowledgeable, but I know better. I know that knowledge and understanding of God and my relationship to/with God rests always on my horizon and therefore it is an endless journey with many pit-stops and detours along the way...a journey from which I will only find rest when "I rest in Thee."

And so, I find myself at a crossroads where personal, professional and spiritual paths meet. My personal life is headed toward very exciting adventures in a new city and in a new and final love; light is gradually beginning to grace my spiritual path as it begins to slowly renew itself after 4 years of darkness and dusk; finally, my professional life seems to be traveling in circles of rocky road that as far as I can tell is going nowhere, or nowhere I wish to be.

While many of my hours at work are filled with tasks (some challenging, many not...but all unfulfilling) I find that I have many precious but wasted minutes. Oh, I could email, obsess over my facebook, play solitaire or surf the web. None of these, though, would make me feel more satisfied after 8 hours of seemingly meaningless work.

But I am not only looking for a different way to pass the time, I am looking for a way to collect my thoughts, reflect on things that inspire me, anger me, make me contented with life, the workings of the world and my place in it. I am looking for an outlet to ask questions, because more often than not my thoughts end in a question mark.

And finally, I hope to eventually have these thoughts heard...by someone, anyone. I hope to inspire, anger, help someone else feel contented with life and question the world and their place in it. Will I succeed?